Evil thoughts and scary dreams

I'm doing that thing again where I eat my weight in candy to silence the pain and depression. I'm trying not to, but it's so hard. If I could just get off my butt, have more energy, perhaps, just perhaps, I could lose that weight I gained in the last 3 months from being so down.

I tend to avoid mirrors anymore. They just make me sad.

Of course having scary dreams does not help. I dreamt about the dead last night. Seriously. Dead people were in my dream, but not in the "they look the same as they did when they died." No they were decaying corpses. Scared the shit out of me. I talked to them, they talked to me, in my dream I wasn't afraid of them, but in waking life, I was terrified. What could it have meant?

After I woke up and drank a glass of water to rinse that dream away, i fell back asleep. I dreamt this time of people I was friends with in high school. People I haven't seen in ten years. I just don't get where my mind was going last night.

I think once my mother gets home and goes back to taking care of the old guy, and I'm back to ONE job, I'll be a little better. Until then, I take a deep breath and hope that tomorrow isn't as hard to get through as today. I'll watch my The Closer, and then fall into a sleep that I hope is dreamless.