Remember to breathe

Today I found myself lonely. There are a few movies out there and I have no one to see them with. I found myself missing my gram. I found myself wishing I had a few close friends here to just hang out with. I don't do the bar scene but a nice dinner would be something.

I feel stuck, like I'm still a little kid. I'm 27 and have nothing to show for my life. I truly did not think I would be here. Not here, not now. I figured myself married, maybe a kid on the way.

Those closest to me are in other states. So I sit. I read. I breathe.

Sometimes I forget to live. I think I'm in the past too much. But I can't focus on the future because it's just too uncertain. Where do I turn to then? How can I do this?

My biggest fear is one day I will wake up, be in my 40s and wonder where I went wrong. I don't want that.

For now I will read. And try to remember to breathe.